#and im tired af
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ok so i read through by chance (that murder drones fic) im obsessed im crying im screaming im doing every possible activity rn in a good way
anyway guys lmk if u got nymore fav n/uzi fics i wanna read more because my hearts gonna jump out of my body and start dancing over my dead corpse (in a good way)
#murder drones nuzi#murder drones#murder drones n#murder drones uzi#glitch silly times#glitch rambles#grahhhhhh#Screams in your fave#face#dude i'm actually going fucking insane over this#its so good#WHWJWJWHWJQUQUWJSHS#keyboard spam#wahhh#woo#i love tags#theyre so fun#FUCK I DIDNT TAG NUZI#i dint feel like rewriting all of thst so#nuzi#ANYWAY#i shoudl sleep.#its 4:30 am#(33)#and im tired af#buttt i wanna scream some more so mybe l8ter
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Comfy day today
#my bro is sick#and im tired af#but comfy day#its cool weather#still really sunny out#opened my window#my blanket feels extra soft today#just comfy over all
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LOVE, VIOLET
pairing: vi x fem!reader word count: 12.9k summary: history might say that you and vi were only best friends, but the real story is much more complicated. (or: you and vi celebrating valentine's day warning: friends to lovers arc, lots of sapphic yearning, brief mention of homophobia and bullying....but mostly cheesy domestic fluff and sappy lesbian monologues and lots of smut [oral (r! receiving), fingering (r! receiving), thigh riding, strap usage(r! receiving), needy+possessive! vi and slightly (?) dom! reader] (18+) ! a/n: happy (belated oops) valentine's day girls and gays <33 been working on this for a while and hoped to get it out like....actually in time for love day but such is life. ANYWAYS this is set in the same universe as this x-mas themed fic (and kinda a modern au of this one?? reader has the same nickname and there's a friends to lovers arc so....). hope y'all enjoy!!!!
♪: "glue song" by beabadoobee ft. clairo (sun); "home by now" by MUNA (moon); "love is a kaleidoscope" by chappell roan (rising)
also - header image was cropped from a gifset from @arcanegifs , pls check out their beautiful work !!!


track 1: “feeling you” by cat burns
(now)
"fuck, vi," you moan as her tongue splits your folds. "we don't have time for this...."
you have to get to studio and vi has to get to work, but the combination of the hot water hitting your skin and vi’s mouth on your cunt was something you did not want to give up just yet — even if you didn't want to admit it.
"baby," vi pouts, looking up at you innocently, as if she wasn't the one who decided to push you against the tile wall and get on her knees in front of you. "it was your idea to shower together this morning.”
"well, sorry for wanting to save water," you breathe, your grip tightening on her hair when she wraps her lips around your clit. "the planet is dying."
vi pulls away from you once more, lips shining with your slick. "well, excuse me for thinking you wanted to start today with a bit of romance. if all you care about is the environment...." she gets up and reaches behind you to turn off the water. "we better get going, pretty girl."
you whine at the sudden loss of warmth and clench your thighs together at the nickname, something that does not go unnoticed by vi. she licks her lips before leaning forward to kiss you, your back pushed against the cool tile once more and the taste of yourself faint on her tongue.
hearing your alarm go off reminds you that there are other responsibilities you each have to attend to. reluctantly, the two of you dry off and make your way to your shared bedroom. you put on a fuschia boyshort / bralette combo (your favorite set because, yes, it matches your girlfriend’s hair) before slipping on some dark jeans and a heart-printed turtleneck, and moving on to your makeup. in the meantime, vi had been in the kitchen making coffee, and reemerges now with two mismatched mugs. she sets one on the desk next to you, kisses the top of your head before getting herself ready for the day.
you swipe some eyeliner on your waterline, watching in the mirror as vi searches in the closet for something to wear, still only dressed in black briefs and a sports bra. you smile as you see the stars tattooed on her upper thigh, sparkling with every movement she makes. once she picks out an outfit, her eyes catch yours.
"what?" she asks with a lazy grin, slipping on a tight black henley.
you smile, adding some pink glitter to your eyelids.
it’s only been two weeks since you’ve moved into this new place. there are still plenty of unpacked boxes, and you still get a bit lost navigating around the neighbourhood, but otherwise, it’s been a dream.
you love seeing your clothes woven together in the same closet; you love waking up with her arm around your waist, doing laundry together, and coming home to vi having tried a new recipe for dinner. you love how you sometimes wear each other’s rings because you keep them all in a pile on the nightstand, how she falls asleep with her head in your lap during movie night, how her skin smells like the rose body wash you picked out together at lush.
you love this — this home you’re starting to build. you’ve known vi for so long, but your lives are intertwined now more than ever.
"nothing," you respond, finishing with a layer of vanilla lip gloss. "want me to do your eyeliner?”
it’s a familiar position: vi sits on the edge of the bed while you straddle her hips. she leans forward and presses a kiss to your sternum before you hold her chin between your thumb and pointer finger.
“so….tomorrow’s valentines day,” vi suddenly points out, though, really, you didn’t need the reminder.
you’d spent these past few years apart and this is your first valentine’s day since the break-up.
you both agreed — no pressure — but…..there’s definitely a bit of pressure. you’d been working on your gift for her for weeks, and you’re really hoping that she likes what you’ve planned.
“i thought it would be nice to get dinner tonight at bacchus. i called earlier this morning and got us a reservation for 7:30.”
you hum in appreciation.
vi might be taking a break from the band, but she’s still the violet lanes, the pink-haired rockstar of every lesbian’s dreams who’s written award-winning songs and sold out entire football stadiums. there are new perks of being her girlfriend this time around, like a nice apartment in new york and getting a day-of-reservation at the most expensive italian restaurant in the city.
“valentine’s day is tomorrow,” you repeat, a playful lilt to your words. you swipe your thumb near the corner of vi’s eye where you’d smudged an otherwise sharp wing of eyeliner. “someone’s eager to get a head start.”
with that, you snap the tube closed, press a kiss to the tattoo on vi’s cheek, and get up to gather your things for studio. you’re tucking your sketchbook into your messenger bag when you feel vi’s strong arms wrap around your middle.
“you always said i was impatient,” she teases. you can feel her smirk against the star-shaped birthmark behind your ear before pressing a gentle kiss to your skin and whispering: “can you blame me, stargirl? for wanting to get dressed all fancy and go somewhere nice and romantic with the prettiest girl in the world?”
“of course not.” you crane your neck back until your lips practically brush against hers as you speak. “except, you’re the prettiest in the world, baby.”
a beautiful blush spreads across vi’s freckled cheeks, the way it always has whenever you comment on vi’s beauty.
she clears her throat, still a bit flustered. “agree to disagree?”
you pretend to think about it for a second, nudging your nose against hers. “agree to disagree,” you reply, teasing her by continuing to hover above her lips, just a sliver of air between you.
yeah, vi’s impatient — but, sometimes, you love it. like, right now, when she turns you around to face her so she can close the gap, deepening the kiss by sliding her tongue into your mouth without any preamble.
vi groans as another alarm goes off from your phone. "i will never get used to how many alarms you set."
you giggle, and pull away slightly to swipe the cancel button. vi takes the opportunity to move your shirt slightly and leave bites on your exposed collarbone. you check the time on your phone.
you can spare a little more time. it is valentine’s day, after all.
(age 13)
“vi, your precious stargirl is on the phone for you!”
at the mention of your nickname, vi flinches, inadvertently failing to dodge a lethal attack. green goblin crashed his glider into her spiderman avatar, and the words GAME OVER fill the screen in an angry red font.
vi groans, throwing her playstation controller on the couch before heading to the kitchen.
powder is sitting on the counter, twirling the telephone cord around her finger and yapping away before vi takes her place.
“hey.” vi clears her throat, tries to sound casual. “what’s up?”
“so, my mom promised to make something for ekko’s valentine’s class party, but she just got called in for a shift….which means i’m stuck baking 30 rainbow confetti cupcakes, and hoping i don’t give any eight year olds food poisoning. you doing anything right now?”
“oh - i’m actually, uh, busy! i have homework, and….”
and she’s busy avoiding you, ever since she heard something about you — from drea, of all people — and wondered why you wouldn’t confide in her, your supposed best friend.
“please, vi,” you coax. vi’s heart beats a bit quicker as she pictures your bottom lip jutting out into a pout. “can you come over and help me bake? it feels like forever since we’ve actually hung out. i miss you.”
vi is certainly not god’s strongest soldier when it comes to you, so of course, she caves. rainbow confetti cake is her favorite, so that’s a bonus. she and powder throw on their coats and head next door to yours; powder and ekko keep each other company in the living room while vi joins you in the kitchen.
“hey,” she greets.
“there you are!” your face lights up with the sweetest smile, causing the butterflies in her stomach to flap up a storm.
gods — do you realize the effect you have on her?
there’s already flour dusting your cheek; vi has to resist the urge to brush it away with her thumb, wanting to feel how soft your skin must be.
she snaps out of it though, as you instruct her on what needs to be done, and the two of you work in a comfortable silence, the sounds of your siblings watching cartoons in the other room filling the space between you. at one point, probably realizing that vi isn’t in the mood for talking, you switch on the radio. vi catches you smiling at her as she hums along to freddie mercury, but you’re quick to blink away and get back to work.
you’re sifting confectioner’s sugar into room temperature butter for the icing while vi slides the first batch of cupcakes in the oven, starts prepping the second, her mind starting to wander.
you and vi are playing the leads for your final english project, where you have to reenact scenes from romeo and juliet. powder caught the two of you rehearsing last week, and spent the whole night singing that stupid playground chant. now vi can’t get it out of her head: you and her, sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G —
“the rumor’s not true, by the way,”
vi looks at you as she pours batter into another cupcake liner, which accidentally overflows onto the counter.
“shit,” she groans, but you slide over to the other side of the kitchen counter to bring her a towel.
you don’t elaborate on what you’ve just brought up as you wipe up the thick batter. vi figures you’re waiting for her to say something.
“what rumor?”
it was never vi’s instinct to play pretend with you, but frankly she had no idea what else to do without letting her emotions burst into flames and inevitably burn you.
“vi,” you sigh. “i know you’ve heard it. the whole school has. it’s not true, though. i wasn’t kissing james.”
oh. the spark of envy in her gut simmers down.
“did he ask you to the sweetheart dance?”
you shake your head, and the spark extinguishes completely. “even if he did….i wouldn’t want to go with him.”
“why’s that? not your type?”
you finish wiping the counter, and vi takes the now-sticky towel from you to rinse it out in the sink. as she does this, you get back to frosting duty, stirring in some pink food colouring.
“drea saw me kissing someone with dark brown hair,” you explain. “so isabel started told her that it was james, and that’s what she’s been telling everyone. but really….it was her.”
vi blinks at you. “her?”
“yeah, her,” you smile hesitantly.
“you were kissing isabel?”
isabel was the prettiest girl in eighth grade — though, according to vi, you’d have that ranking, and it would go way beyond the scope of your middle school. you’re the prettiest girl in the world; not that vi would ever have the courage to tell you that.
you nod. “you’re not, like, weirded out that i like kissing girls, are you?”
“what? no, of course not! especially since….i, uh, i like kissing girls too.”
in theory. vi likes to imagine kissing girls, especially when they look like korra from the legend of korra, or shego from kim possible, or hayley kiyoko in lemonade mouth.
or….you.
vi watches intently as you — a very pretty, very real girl — swipe your finger through the fluffy pink frosting and taste it, flashing her a sugary smile.
“good to know.”
(age 16)
when josie asked her out, vi had completely neglected the fact that dinner on friday would mean dinner on february 14th.
which is how vi finds herself getting ready for a date with someone she met during your short-lived attempt at starting an all female fight boxing club. josie is sweet and vi felt bad cancelling on her, so like the gentleman she is, vi promised to pick her up at 7:30pm. on friday, february 14th.
it’s 6:44pm, and vi is in your room. you helped her pick out an outfit — something nice but not too formal — and you’ve moved on to makeup, carefully applying her eyeliner.
vi tries not to stare at your lips — which are slightly red from the cinnamon hearts you’ve been eating — so she keeps squirming, and you keep gently guiding her chin towards you. her eyes wander to your decorated walls, filled with posters and photos and other things you’ve collected throughout the years. she’s featured in quite a few, and she catches a glimpse of an old valentine card she’d given you in elementary school.
“it’s weird that we won’t be spending valentine’s day together,” you comment as though reading her mind.
you’d never spend the holiday as anything other than friends, but it does still feel strange, not spending it with someone she knows for sure she loves.
(again — like a friend loves a friend.)
“yeah, definitely,” vi agrees. “do you have anything planned for tonight?”
“huge plans, actually.” you pop another cinnamon heart in your mouth. “i’ve got a super romantic date with the prettiest girl in the world.”
vi tilts her head in confusion — did you mention this to her? — which causes you to shake your head with a lighthearted laugh and guide her towards you once more.
“really? with who?”
you roll your eyes. “i’m kidding!”
“oh.”
“it’s cute how gullible you are,” you whistle. by now, you’re done with her eyes and move on to dusting her cheeks with some sort of shimmery powder. “i’m probably just gonna put on a rom-com and finish — well, start — writing my english essay on romantic literature. lowercase ‘r,’ because ms. chavez was feeling festive. i’m leaning more modernist, but that’s only because i want to write about virginia woolf.”
it’s inching towards when vi should leave, but vi doesn’t care what time it is — she’d listen to you talk forever if she could.
“what’s it about?”
you pull away to examine vi’s makeup one last time.
“the movie, or my essay?” you nod once in approval and give the compact you’re holding to vi so she can take a look. “you look beautiful, by the way.”
vi watches her reflection blush, almost enhanced by the makeup you put on her.
“thanks, stargirl.” vi clears her throat and decides to get back to your original conversation. “the movie and your essay, i guess.”
you offer vi a cinnamon heart, which she accepts, the candy burning sweet on her tongue. you then reach into your backpack, for the ring pop that vi had left in your locker this morning, just before you handed her a box of rainbow confetti cupcakes. you slip the candied jewellery onto your right ring finger before answering.
“i want to analyse the letters between virginia woolf and this other writer — vita sackville-west. they’re essentially love letters, but, you know.” you give an exaggerated shrug. “history says they were only best friends. at least, according to ms. chavez’s interpretations, along with most of the class.”
vi chuckles. “thankfully, you’re here to prove them all wrong.”
“exactly.” you nudge your shoulder against vi’s, the feeling of your body familiar next to hers. “and, for the movie, i’m thinking when harry met sally, which i remember watching with you for the first time.”
vi definitely remembers watching that with you, too. the whole question of whether or not men and women can be friends without romance getting in the way brought up another, much more relevant question in vi’s mind: can two sapphic women be friends without any complicated feelings?
it’s definitely possible.
“so….you excited for this date?”
vi shrugs. “yeah.”
“wow. i totally believe that,” you say, words dripping with sarcasm.
“it’s just….it’s valentine’s day,” vi whispers. she starts fiddling with one of her rings — you’d gotten it for her last valentine’s day, a silver thumb ring with a star in the middle. “what if she wants to kiss me tonight?”
“well, you kiss her back, if that’s what you want.”
“that’s what i want,” she responds, way too quickly to be true. “it’s just — i’m not sure i’ll be any good.”
“you’ll be fine,” you assure.
“but — i mean, i’ve never…..”
“oh.” your eyes widen and your lips part in shock, the blue-raspberry of the ring pop turning them from red to purple that’s intoxicatingly close to violet. “oh.”
“what! it’s not, like the end of the world.”
“of course not! it’s just — you’ve gone out with a bunch of girls, so i just figured….”
vi shakes her head, her cheeks heating up. “guess i never found the right one. i know it’s cliche, but i kinda wanted my first kiss to be —”
“special?” you guess, and vi nods.
“and now, there’s all this pressure, i’m worried that i won’t be good.”
you clear your throat. “right. well, if it helps relieve the pressure….i could show you….how.”
“show me?”
“well — i mean, like teach you, i guess. plus, then i can let you know whether you’re, like, a good kisser or not.”
that’s how you find yourself practically in vi’s lap, slotting your lips between hers. it started off with a quick peck, but clearly, you’ve both decided that this lesson requires a bit more.
every single one of vi’s senses is heightened: the stickiness of your glossed lips, the sugar on your tongue, the giggles rumbling through you and bouncing down vi’s throat. time seems to slow down — no, freeze entirely — which is a stark contrast to the burning in her lungs.
needing air, vi pulls away.
“h-how was that?” she breathes, her words warming your mouth.
“good.” you smile, almost shy. you’re so close together that vi can feel your heart pounding against your ribcage. “maybe….a bit gentler this time.”
“gentler?”
“slower,” you suggest.
so, you kiss again. gentler, this time.
“your lips are a bit chapped,” is your next note. you reach for the tube of lip gloss in your pocket. “can i?”
“go ahead, stargirl,” vi whispers. “you’re the expert.”
you paint a layer of sticky vanilla glitter onto vi’s lips.
“there,” you sit back after swiping your thumb underneath vi’s bottom lip.
vi blinks at you. her lips feel like they’re coated in honey. “how do i look?”
“really pretty,” you reply, with a small smile. you sigh, glancing at the scooby-doo alarm clock on your nightstand, the one you’ve had since you were six years old. “you better go. have a good time with josie, okay?”
“okay.” vi gets up and grabs her jacket, tugs on her shoes. “and, thanks again for, well, you know.”
you shrug. “that’s what best friends are for. happy valentine’s, vi.”
vi hesitates just as she’s about to climb out your window. “look, stargirl, i don’t have to – i mean, i’m perfectly happy canceling my, uh, date, and just hanging out with you.”
“you’re sweet, vi, but i’ll be fine. go — have fun.” you walk closer to her so you can slip your tube of lipgloss into vi’s button down shirt pocket. you pat her chest affectionately. “and remember to be gentle, yeah?”
later, when she’s making out with josie in the backseat of her dad’s car, vi tries not to think about your soft voice guiding her through the movements, or the dizzying taste of your lips — cinnamon hearts and sour candy and sweet, sweet vanilla.
history might say that you and vi are only best friends, but the real story is much more complicated.
___

[image: a cartoon scooby-doo, holding a bouquet of hearts. the message reads: BE MY VALENTINE!]
to: stargirl <3
from: vi
___
track 2: “you’re my best friend” by queen
(age 7)
“mom?”
“yeah, kiddo?”
“can you be in love with your best friend?”
her mom, felicia, smiles knowingly, the question hanging in the air until the end of song. it’s part of an old mixtape that felicia plays sometimes, mostly glam rock like queen and david bowie. she put it on this afternoon while her and vi get ready for the valentine’s class party tomorrow. vi scribbles names on cards while her mom fills clear heart-printed bags with candy. powder’s fallen asleep on her lap.
“definitely,” felicia finally answers, reaching over to tap vi’s nose playfully. “love, violet, can be a million different things. that’s the fun part.”
felicia pinches vi’s cheek affectionately. vi frowns, thinking about this whole love thing.
love is definitely not the next classmate whose name she’s writing — drea, who always cheats during sports and teases vi for being a tomboy. she’s tempted to just leave her out, but the policy of ms. julie’s second grade class is that everyone needs to get a valentine. so, that’s not love, either.
instead, vi thinks of her family — her mom, vander, powder, and even ekko; movie nights and lively dinners and warm hugs. she thinks of her friends — mylo and claggor; laughter and skinned knees and running so fast it feels like flying.
when she thinks of you, though, her heart beats differently.
vi thinks about how you always carry around a spiderman bandaid because she always scrapes herself during recess, and the nurse only carries plain, boring bandages. she thinks about how you ‘accidentally’ spill paint on drea’s art project after she calls vi mean names.
she thinks about how you doodle on her arms during math or braid her hair as you watch cartoons and eat sugary cereal on saturday mornings.
she thinks about the star-shaped birthmark behind your ear, the perpetual marker stains on your hands, the dimple on your cheek.
you’re her best friend, and your smile alone wakes up a million butterflies in her stomach.
vi’s mom suggested spiderman valentine’s cards, but vi wanted to pick out something that you’d like; vi knows that scooby-doo is your favorite show, so that’s what she went with. she adds a ring pop to your bag of candy, because she knows they’re your favorite candy. she adds a little heart by your nickname, too.
the next day, everyone is decorating their shoeboxes, transforming them into mailboxes before exchanging valentines. vi’s hands are sticky with glitter glue when you walk over — ms. julie said that you and vi distracted each other, so she assigned you to desks on opposite sides of the room.
“happy valentine’s day, vi,” you say, sliding a card into her mailbox and smiling ear to ear before moving on to the next person. vi eagerly reaches in for the valentine.
it’s spiderman-themed, and there’s a heart next to her name.
(now)
when you walk through the door, you’re engulfed in the scent of warm garlic bread and sweet, ripe tomatoes. the restaurant is bustling with waiters delivering colourful dishes, everyone wearing crisp suits and silk dresses. someone’s playing piano, soft music dancing throughout the room, and the overhead lights are dimmed, with each table illuminated by a candle in the centre.
the maître d' greets you with a welcoming smile and settles you into a table. once they’re gone, vi reaches across the table for your hand.
“you look beautiful, stargirl.”
vi’s skin is always warm, but the cool metal of her thumb ring sends a shiver through you as she brushes over your knuckles. the flame between you flickers, darkening vi’s powder blue eyes as she gazes at you lovingly.
“you let me borrow your clothes,” you point out. “i’m wearing one of your suits.”
“what can i say….” vi winks, releasing your hand so she can open the menu in front of her. “i have good taste. looks better on you, anyways.”
“were you always this much of a flirt?” you tease.
vi smirks. “like a fine wine, i just get better with age.”
“you are so corny,” you say with a slight laugh.
“well, some people do think my love songs are cheesy.”
“even the ones written about me?”
vi looks up from her menu, one eyebrow raised. “baby, they’re all about you.”
your cheeks heat up at vi’s confession, and you take a sip from your glass, ice water trickling down your throat, in hopes of steadying your heartbeat.
a waiter comes by; you each order pasta dishes and vi orders a bottle of wine for the table. the wine arrives quickly, but given how busy the restaurant is, you anticipate the food will take longer.
you fill the time easily, catching each other up on the details of your lives since this morning. you start by telling her how hectic your art studio has been as you prepare for your big spring exhibition, but how excited everyone is. you’re especially excited since you get to explore different mediums along the way; these past few weeks, you’ve been learning how to use a pottery wheel. you went through the final step of the process today — glazing — and you’re happy at the end product.
“i don’t think i’m gonna include it in my exhibit, though,” you conclude.
“well, it’d be nice to have some of your art on display all the time.” vi smiles. “you should bring whatever you made home.”
“that’s the idea,” you muse, a twinkle in your eyes as you take a sip of wine. “how was your day?”
vi started teaching guitar at the local community centre. some adults take lessons, but it’s mostly little kids with too much energy and too little patience. still, no matter how chaotic it can be, it’s clear that vi has been loving her job.
“i swear, this one girl, marceline, is a budding rockstar. i taught her a jimi hendrix song and she picked it up —” vi snaps her fingers, smiling proudly. “like that. such a talented kid.”
“you would know, pretty girl,” you praise.
your waiter arrives to bring plates full of pasta. you and vi thank them, your stomach grumbling at the delicious smell, a reminder that you had barely eaten all day. you’re so ready to dig into some quality fettuccine alfredo.
you and vi eat in a comfortable silence, until you hear an unfortunately familiar voice grate at your ears:
“oh my god, it is you! i saw you from the other side of the restaurant and just had to come over and say hi!”
you don’t need to glance to know who it is, but you do anyways, and so does vi. your stomach drops as you watch her bite back a scoff before turning back to her food.
“hi, drea,” vi clips before taking a big gulp of wine. she continues eating, barely sparing the woman another glance.
drea continues to hover. she’s wearing dark lipstick, her black hair cut into a classic bisexual bob, and her amber eyes silently pleading at you to break the ice.
“hey, drea,” you greet with a stiff smile, and drea relaxes her shoulders at your veil of friendliness.
“nice earrings,” she winks, reaching over to tap the dangling purple gem. “thought you might have gotten rid of them after we broke up.”
vi chokes on a sip of wine. “broke up?” vi coughs, reaches for her water glass. “since when did you two date?”
you open your mouth to respond, but drea beats you to it, clearly too focused on being the centre of attention.
“maybe like a year or so ago.” drea turns to you. “right, starlight?”
vi’s jaw clenches, and she drops her fork, metal clattering against the plate.
“starlight?”
“yeah, because of the star-shaped birthmark behind her —”
“i know,” vi snaps. her eyes are locked on you, and slightly glazed over. “you never told me you dated drea.”
“i-it was only 3 months,” you stutter.
“that hurts,” drea groans, clutching her heart. she always did have a flair for the dramatic. “it was 4 months, babe.”
“you dated for 4 months, and i’m just hearing about it now?” vi seethes, trying to keep her voice low. the tables around you have already taken note that something is happening, though, their conversations hushing down to an idle whisper. “did you somehow forget how much of an asshole she was in high school?”
“um, i’m right here?” drea chides, still not taking the hint that neither of you are interested in a happy reunion.
“we need a minute,” you and vi say simultaneously. drea rolls her eyes and mutters something you don’t care to hear; you’re too concerned with explaining yourself to vi, whose cheeks are burning with a deep shade of red. whether it’s jealousy, anger, or embarrassment, you’re not quite sure.
“vi, just let me —”
you reach out for her hand, but as soon as you make contact, vi pulls away abruptly.
“i…i need….to not be here right now,” vi mutters. the last thing she wants is to make headlines tomorrow morning — violet lanes, caught having argument with girlfriend at upscale restaurant during on valentine’s eve. flip to page 6 for the full story! — so, she gets up and slips on her jacket.
“please, baby, let’s talk about this —”
“order dessert, if you want. don’t rush home.”
her voice cracks at that last word before she storms out the door, leaving you with two unfinished meals and stomach heavy with regret.
___

[image: notebook opened to a page filled with chaotic, scribbled writing]
FOR STARGIRL (FINAL DRAFT!!! COME UP WITH TITLE LATER!??!!)
i’m stuck on you, baby
you taught me what love is
sugary sweet kisses,
frosting on your lips;
first tattoos,
promises on our skin
i’m stuck on you, baby
have been since we were kids
you’re not just the sun or the moon
you’re all my stars
know that i’ll love you
wherever we are
___
track 3: “true romantic” by indigo girls
(age 18)
the auditorium is decorated with red and pink streamers, heart garlands and bouquets of roses. a red spotlight shines on the stage, painting each performer with a pink hue. there are small tables and chairs arranged to make the space feel more like a parisian cafe, instead of where drama club rehearses for the spring musical.
you’re sitting at one of the tables, inhaling all the free coffee and pastries you possibly can and chatting with viktor and jayce, like you’ve done for the past three years at your highschool’s annual valentine’s day coffeehouse.
the first time vi performed, during your freshman year, she was all nerves, her fingers fumbling at chords and voice trembling through the lyrics of a joan jett song she had played for you perfectly that morning. when her eyes landed on yours in the crowd, you gave her a thumbs-up — you’d been just friends at the time, after all — and vi seemed to warm up, finishing to enthusiastic applause.
now, vi walks on with confidence right away, electric guitar the same pink as her hair, with a constellation of stars scribbled on its body with black sharpie. she’s grown out her hair, still keeping it shorter on one side to display her growing collection of piercings. the newest addition is a silver loop in her nostril, which glints underneath the spotlight as she leans closer to the mic. she’s wearing lowrise jeans and showcasing a sliver of her hips; you can’t help but think about what’s hidden just a bit lower, the stars sparkling along her upper thigh, etched into her skin at the same time you got violets blooming between your ribs.
“hey everyone. most of you know me as the captain of our hockey team —”
beside you, jayce whistles and there’s a scattering of applause for the team, who just made it to nationals. vi landed an athletic scholarship, too, to play at university of piltover. even though you have a hard time picturing your girlfriend as an enforcer, you’re so proud of her. plus, it’s only a twenty minute drive from zaun university, where you’ve decided to go so you could be close to your family.
“but, i’ve been writing songs, too,” vi continues. “i realized that i’ve gotten up here every year to sing someone else’s love song to a girl i’ve had a crush on since before i even knew what a crush was. but this is a song i’ve been writing, for and about her, for years. and now that we’re actually dating….well, i wanted to do something special for our first valentine’s day. ” vi looks at you with a toothy grin, and you blow her a kiss. “wait, actually, can we get a spotlight on my girlfriend? right there?”
vi gestures in your general direction, and suddenly you feel the heat of the spotlight and 50 pairs of eyes on you. your cheeks flush at the attention, but you play along and wave nonetheless.
“there she is,” vi gushes. “my beautiful stargirl. i wrote this song —”
“oh my god, we came here for music, not your sappy lesbian monologue!” drea, current goalie of zaun high’s hockey team and perpetual pain in vi’s ass, groans. “hurry up and play the song already!”
one of the teachers hushes the bubbling laughter, and it dies down just as quickly as it emerged.
vi rolls her eyes. “as i was saying, i wrote this song-slash-sappy-lesbian-monologue for you, stargirl. i hope you like it. happy valentine’s day.”
you don’t know what makes your heart soar more — the sweet lyrics falling from the lips of the girl you love, or the girl herself.
later, vi is falling asleep in the middle of chemistry class when she hears a light clink against the window. she glances outside and sees you waving at her, smile as bright as a shooting star. you have paint stains on your jeans that weren’t there earlier and you’re gesturing at her to follow you. vi just shrugs and nods her chin towards the front of the class.
your bottom lip juts out into a pout, and you curve your hands into a heart before disconnecting them. vi snorts at your antics.
“ms. lanes, are my slides on organic compounds amusing to you?”
“uh, no mr. michaels. of course not.” vi clears her throat, whips her head back towards the smartboard. “may i, uh, go to the bathroom?”
vi checks her phone as soon as she closes the door behind her.
stargirl
hurry UP!!!
dyke spiderman <3
easy romeo
i’m omw
where should i meet u???
stargirl
our spot
“wait!” you call as soon as vi reaches the bottom of the staircase and starts to turn the corner. “close your eyes!”
“how’d you know it was me?” vi laughs, but does as she’s told nonetheless.
“the axe body spray is a pretty dead giveaway,” you deadpan.
“hey, i stopped using that in middle school. can i look now?”
you ask her to wait one more time. vi feels you shift behind her, wrap your arms around her waist. on instinct, vi reaches a hand down and laces her fingers through yours, your skin slick and cold.
“okay,” you whisper, your breath hot against her ear. “open your eyes.”
and when she does, vi is glad that you’re holding her, because she’s suddenly weak in the knees at what’s gracing the wall before her: a small mural reminiscent of klimt’s famous painting, ‘the kiss’. except — it’s the two of you, surrounded by stars and violets.
“happy valentine’s day, vi.”
you untangle yourself from her, but vi doesn’t let go of your hand, even when she realizes it’s wet with fresh paint.
“you….you did this?”
“yeah.”
“wow….it’s amazing. beautiful.”
vi squeezes your hand, still in awe at how you beautifully swirled together each color, the loving expressions you managed to portray with each delicate stroke of your paintbrush.
“i’m glad you like it.”
“like it? i love….” she turns to you. “i love it. you didn’t have to do all this though, it must have taken you forever.”
“you’re worth it,” you muse. “like you said — it’s our first valentine’s day. as a couple at least. i wanted to do something special. i made us a playlist, too.”
so, even though it means she’s skipping chem and you’re skipping history, the two of you curl underneath the staircase, a pair of earbuds split between you.
“i’m gonna miss seeing you every day after we graduate.”
vi hums in agreement. she gently lifts your head from her shoulder, holding your chin between her thumb and pointer finger. “you know i’ll love you wherever we are, right?”
“i know, i heard you early on stage,” you swoon, settling back against her shoulder. “seemed a bit dramatic for only being, like, 20 minutes away from each other. though, i guess that is the farthest apart we’ve ever been.”
vi takes a deep breath, as your fingers dance along the doodles decorating her skin, the ones you had drawn on in sharpie during calculus. “except…. it might be further than that, depending on how things go.”
your pointer finger pauses halfway through an outline of a heart. “what do you mean?”
“i’m, uh….i don’t want to go to university of piltover. actually, i don’t want to go to college at all. i turned down the scholarship; made the official decision two weeks ago after the big game.”
“you did what?”
“i wanna move to l.a. or london, pursue this whole music thing. i think it could really take me places.”
“right,” you clip.“and why are you just bringing this up now? have you told vander? have you talked to anyone before making a huge, life-changing decision?”
you continue shaking your head in disbelief as you gather your backpack and turn the corner, emerging from underneath the staircase; vi follows you.
“no, but it’s my life — and i know what i want.”
“and it’s always about what you want, right?” you scoff.
“what the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“it’s just — did you ever think about your family in all this? how powder might feel having her sister so far away just as she’s starting high school?”
“i’ve spent the past 13 years of my life worrying about powder, taking care of her especially after our mom died,” vi reasons, trying to keep her voice steady. “i need a break. my dreams are bigger than this town.”
“do you…” you trail off, hesitant to even speak the words aloud, but the coil in your gut tells you it’s unavoidable. “do you need a break from us?”
“stargirl.” vi whispers your nickname like a promise itching to be broken. “i thought you’d love having a rockstar girlfriend,” she teases, trying to lighten the mood.
“don’t,” you grumble, brows furrowed. “if you wanted to make things work between us, you would have at least talked to me about this.”
“i am talking to you,” vi counters. she grabs her hands in yours. you pull away.
“but, you spent these past two weeks listening to me imagine our future together, while you had already made other plans. what does that say about our actual future?”
before vi can respond, someone clears their throat from the top of the staircase. your principal, looking down on you with an expression that can only be described as disinterested, addressing you by your last names.
“pro tip,” she continues. “if you want to skip class and have a lover’s quarrel, make sure it’s not somewhere that carries sound directly to the office.”
you and vi get assigned detention that afternoon. you’re told to sit on opposite sides of the room, but that doesn’t stop vi from throwing a crumpled ball of paper your way.
glancing over at your girlfriend, you have to admit that you find yourself melting at those puppy dog eyes of hers, pleading and so full of love as she waits for you to respond to her message.
even though the future feels uncertain, you scribble something back, then toss the paper towards her desk discreetly. it lands on the floor. vi unfolds it and smiles as she reads the note, cheeks tinted a light rose.
___

[image: a crumpled ball of paper. unfold it, and it reads….]
(in hot pink gel pen)
I WANT TO MAKE THINGS WORK BETWEEN US
I LOVE YOU
(in black sharpie)
I LOVE YOU TOO
OF COURSE WE’LL MAKE IT WORK
I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A ROCK STAR GF, BTW
BUT ONLY IF SHE’S AS HOT AS YOU
___
track 4: “home by now” by MUNA
(age 21)
“wait, hold on — what does that sign say?”
violet lanes, will you be my valentine?
“i’m flattered,” vi chuckles. “but, sorry ladies — i’m a happily taken woman. i’ve got a pretty girl waiting for me in the crowd.”
“and, lemme just say, it’s a good thing we’ve all got separate hotel rooms this time,” caitlyn groans.
vi rolls her eyes. “anyways. this is a very special night because it’s the first time my girlfriend is watching us perform live! she’s over there, looking as beautiful as ever. everyone, say hi!”
the spotlight shines on you, and you giggle shyly. the necklace she’d given you this morning practically glows between your collarbones, illuminates your skin with a violet hue.
“isn’t she the cutest?” vi gushes. “the first time i performed this next song was to celebrate our first valentine’s day as a couple. and — fun little easter egg — when we released this as a single, the cover was a painting she had made for me on that same day. she’s just so talented, kicking ass at this fancy art program….she’s basically the frida kahlo to my joan jett…..and i’m just rambling, now, sorry guys. i could probably talk about my girl all day.”
“oh, and she does,” maddie grumbles.
“the fans love sappy-lesbian-monologues, don’t they?” the crowd roars, and vi flashes maddie a winning smirk. “so, yeah, i love my girlfriend every day, of course, but today it’s with roses and ring pops and those cheesy cards kids hand out to each other in elementary school. happy valentine’s day, stargirl. this one’s called — stuck on you.”
when the show’s over, and the band’s played not one, but two encores, you’re flinging your arms around vi’s neck before she even has the chance to put down her guitar. she’s all sweaty, white tank top sticking to her torso. her ears are still ringing and her throat a bit sore, but all vi cares about is the feelings of your soft lips kissing across her cheeks.
“you’re so fucking amazing,” you gush, pecking her lips delicately. “i mean, i’ve seen you play before, but never like this! vi, you’re….wow. electric, fucking radiant. you must be exhausted, though, ahh —”
vi kisses you, sweaty and breathless, until she’s practically sucked all the air from your lungs.
“not at all,” she replies with a cocky grin. “we’ve got all night and i’m not planning on getting any sleep.”
“ugh, gross. get a room,” caitlyn scoffs, playful but with a bit of an edge.
“oh, we will,” you reply coolly. maybe you’re a bit jealous with how seamlessly caitlyn fits into vi’s new life, how much she’s able to see your girlfriend much more than you’re able to. she hasn’t been particularly friendly since you’ve gotten here, and she’s been a bit too touchy with vi in the tabloids lately. “i’m guessing you don’t have any valentine’s plans?”
caitlyn narrows her eyes at you.
vi laughs, probably about to make a lighthearted comment to diffuse the tension between you and caitlyn, but she’s called aside by their manager for a quick chat before she gets the chance.
“i’ll be right back. cait, stargirl — play nice,” she advises, like you’re children fighting on the playground.
once she’s gone, caitlyn’s frown turns into a smirk.
“stargirl, huh? guess that explains her thigh tattoo. i didn’t think vi was that sentimental, though, so it must have been at your request.”
you straighten your back, trying to mirror caitlyn’s combative confidence. “i think i know her better than you.”
“maybe before, when you were kids growing up in that nothing town. things change, darling. people change — who they are and what they want. if i were you, i’d accept that sooner rather than later,” caitlyn snarks as she finally walks away, bumping your shoulder just as vi returns to the pair of you.
you don’t quite have the time to register the interaction, not with vi intertwining her fingers with yours and tugging you towards her body.
“let’s get out of here, yeah?” she brushes some hair behind your ear. “we’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for.”
and, there was so much time to make up for — the days that have turned into weeks, turned into months, turned into years since you’d last seen each other in person, sometimes only speaking to each other once every month, for only two minutes at a time.
you’d gotten so used to being apart that being together feels like a dream.
vi’s warm body presses against yours, barely making it to the bed. you just couldn’t resist pushing her against the door of the hotel room as soon as you were inside, lodging your thigh between her legs.
“i, uh, i have a surprise for you,” vi breathes, groaning as you hum and start to suck bruises down her neck.
“yeah? what is it, pretty girl?”
blushing and slightly flustered at the nickname, vi removes her shirt and sits back on the bed, gesturing at you to follow her. you hover on top of her and take in her naked form.
“you…got your nipples pierced.”
vi grins.
“can i touch them?”
she nods enthusiastically. you brush your thumb over one and she shivers, causing you to pull away.
“no, it’s okay,” she assures, guiding your hand back towards her. “feels good.”
you start kissing her again. “you’re so fucking beautiful.” until you reach her chest. “can i?”
vi blinks up at you, eyes glazed over with honeyed want. “please. f-fuck,” vi moans when you latch your mouth to her nipple, rolling the cold, silver piercing along your tongue.
“you’re so sensitive,” you coo. you release her nipple with a pop, a string of saliva still connecting it to your wet lips. your fingers slip underneath vi’s underwear, gliding through her soft curls and down into her sticky heat. “so wet. you really missed me, yeah?”
“course i did, stargirl,” vi lets out a shaky laugh. “i want to show you just how much.”
you pout, and vi has the urge to capture that beautiful bottom lip of yours between her teeth. “but i wanted to show you how much i missed you.”
“well, like i said — we have all night.”
three orgasms later, and you’re nearing the point of exhaustion, but you’re determined to keep going, if anything because of how full you feel with vi’s fingers fucking into you at a truly impressive pace. the pads of her fingers are rougher than before, calluses from playing guitar so often, but she still knows exactly how to curl and curve them in every way that makes you unravel. her lips are shining with your cum, and you still taste her sweetness on your tongue.
she grinds her bare cunt against the soft skin of your thigh as she brings you closer and closer to your peak while desperately chasing hers.
“you close, pretty girl? gonna cum for me again?”
vi whines, nods eagerly. “i’m so fucking close. fuck — i don’t know what i’d do without you.”
you groan when vi starts sucking at your pulsepoint, running her tongue over the chain of your new necklace. you reach a hand up to tug at her hair, gently coaxing her to look at you.
“don’t worry about that,” you promise. vi takes a deep breath as though inhaling your words and buries her face in the crook of your neck, butterfly lashes fluttering closed and tickling the skin behind your ear. “you’re being so good for me, so messy.”
“s-sorry,” vi sniffles, blood rushing to her cheeks. her body stills while she moves to meet your gaze, her puppy dog eyes shining with desire and desperation.
you shake your head and dig your fingers into the plush of her hips, urging her to keep going.
“i love it,” you clarify, prompting vi’s face to brighten, her smile pure sunlight and sugar.
you run your thumb over the scar on her lip that stretches with such familiarity, before crashing your lips against hers. vi welcomes your slick tongue into her mouth, swirling around every crevice until your tastes combine into one. the knot in your abdomen tightens and you, somewhat reluctantly, pull away to admire your girlfriend.
“i love how gorgeous you look on top of me, fucking me while using my body to get yourself off,” you continue, words flowing from your mouth like thick, sickly-sweet nectar. “i want you to cum with me one more time, yeah?”
vi whimpers into the crook of your neck, the vibrations intensifying the waves of pleasure crashing throughout your body. it doesn’t take long for vi to feel you clench around her fingers, and for you to feel her gush against your skin, staining the bedspread beneath your entangled bodies.
vi pulls away her fingers — you whimper this time at the sudden emptiness — but she places the softest kiss on your lips as an apology before adjusting to lay down on her side. she nestles into the curve between your neck and shoulder. her teeth graze your pulsepoint as you run your hand through her damp hair.
you should probably take a shower — the two of you drenched in each other’s sweat and saliva and cum — but all you want to do is to melt against her. maybe if you stay in bed, then time will slow down.
“i wish you could stay longer.”
“me too,” you whisper, idly tracing your fingers down her body.
“you know, the art scene in this city is amazing,” she mumbles. “lot of galleries where you could show your work. nice, big apartments where you could have your own private studio space. you could move here after graduation.”
you laugh. “maybe in another life, where i could afford a place in new york. plus, at this point, i think it’d be best for me to move home after i graduate. but, hypothetically speaking — yeah, that would be cool.”
“well, hypothetically speaking, you would share rent with the pink-haired butch of your dreams.”
“you mean the one whose cum is drying on my thigh right now?”
“the very same,” vi nods with a cheeky grin. she throw her arm around your waist, pulling you in closer.
you nudge your nose against hers. “paint me a picture — what does this dream life with my dream girl look like?”
“well, we get a place in an artsy neighbourhood, obviously, surrounded by a strong, welcoming community of queer artists, who are all quirky and colorful in their own way.”
“we’d actually be friends with our neighbours — host dinner parties and have movie nights and dance all night at gay bars. our apartment would have an open-floor plan, and we’d have big windows that give us a ton of light and a great view.”
“a beautiful kitchen, too. one that’s a little outdated, but we prefer the term charming,” vi adds. “and there are always fresh flowers on the counter, in a gorgeous vase.”
“we thrifted most of our stuff, so the furniture is all mismatched furniture and in every color of the rainbow —”
“but it works.”
“it works,” you echo, heart glowing. “we adopt a dog, too.”
“and, the dog’s name?”
you think for a second. “scooby.”
“of course,” vi agrees, her smile suddenly sad. “sounds like a nice life we’d have together.”
“yeah. it does.”
you swallow down those dreams with a bitter dose of reality. you’ll be on a plane tomorrow, heading back to your childhood home, while vi continues travelling the world, performing to sold-out stadiums.
i don’t know what i’d do without you.
the sad truth is that vi does know what to do without you, and you know what to do without her. that’s what this relationship has become: together, in theory, but growing into your adult selves and towards lives that don’t necessarily include the other.
the vi beside you, hair a mess and eyeliner smudged, looks the same, give or take a few new tattoos and piercing. but, you wonder about all the little ways she’s changed that you might not ever have the chance to appreciate, about all the details of her day that you’ll never get to hear about.
you wonder if, possibly, caitlyn is right. you know that people change — who they are, what they want. you want to believe that you and vi are the exception, that no matter how much you changed, you’d always be together. always.
you then remember something else that caitlyn had said, and abruptly stop tracing designs onto vi’s skin, your eyes lingering on the stars on her upper thigh. vi must notice how you stiffen, because she cups your cheek, prompting you to meet her gaze.
“hey — are you okay?”
“i just — don’t take this the wrong way — but….has anything ever happened between you and cait?”
vi freezes. “why….why would you ask that?”
“o-oh, it’s just….she mentioned something about your star tattoo and, i, uh, i don’t know. seems like the type of thing she’d only know if the two of you had —”
vi shuffles away from you beneath the sheets and sits up. “you think i’d cheat on you?”
“you aren’t answering the question,” you notice, watching carefully as a nervous blush blooms across her freckled cheeks. “did anything happen between you and caitlyn?”
“why does it matter? why are you asking?”
“i’m starting to think i have a good reason to.” you get out of bed in a huff and slip on her oversized graphic tee, starting to pace back and forth.
“i — look, i was going to tell you, at some point — we, uh….well, nothing actually happened.”
“well? what didn’t actually happen?”
“baby, just let me explain —” vi catches your arm to stop you. “we were both drunk and high and sharing a cigarette by the pool and….she….we….almost kissed.”
you scoff. “so that’s what this weekend was all about — you felt guilty, so you put on this heart-eyed romantic act to make yourself feel better. everything — this last minute trip, the shoutout at your concert, the fucking necklace you got me — was all because you felt guilty.”
“maybe that’s part of it,” vi admits. “but, mostly, i wanted to see you. i miss you.”
you don’t confess to missing her, too. instead, you say:
“maybe we don’t know each other as well as we used to. maybe….things are changing a bit too much.”
“what does that even — where is this going?” vi drops your arm like its a hot coal, red-hot and blistering. “do you wanna break up?”
the tension hangs in the air, a cloud of smoke and darkness between you and the girl you’ve always loved.
“do you?”
you get on a plane the next morning, bone-tired and heart-heavy with deja vu.
you kiss each other goodbye, promise that you’ll make things work.
you don’t. can’t.
a few months later, you’ll break up.
___

[image: postcard reading GREETINGS FROM PARIS! messy handwriting and misspelled words on the other side]
stargirl,
i promised powder id send her a postcard from paris but im really really drunk rn and urs is the only address i can rememer
they say this is the city of love and it’s the most romantic day of the yer but it means nothing without u. i miss u.
that mesage was 4 u not powder. just tell her i say hi.
xxx
vi
p.s. i know were not together anymore, but i still love u.
___
track 5: “i’ve loved you for so long” by the aces
(now)
“vi?”
all the lights in the apartment are off, the only sign that vi is home being her discarded doc martens strewn by the door. there’s a chill in the air, too — the window to the fire escape is open, so you head outside.
the string lights twisted around the railing flicker like fallen stars, and the city sparkles in the late winter night. vi perches over the edge, her silk shirt unbuttoned at the top, her dark lipstick faded, and a cigarette smouldering between her ringed fingers.
“i stopped at magnolia’s on my way home – got us a slice of confetti cake for dessert,” you try, keeping your voice light in hopes of avoiding a fight. you hoped that the sweet treat would be a welcomed peace offering; that maybe you could sit down in your shared kitchen and actually talk through the conflict like the well-adjusted adults you’re trying to be.
instead, time collapses into itself; you’re both teenagers again, keeping secrets from each other in hopes to ease future pain, and you have a feeling you’re about to bicker like an old married couple, fall back into familiar patterns.
“sure you wouldn’t want to share it with drea, instead starlight?”
you don’t take the bait; you know vi wants to push your buttons, and you know that she knows exactly how.
“didn’t realize you still smoked,” you say, moving to lean against the railing next to her.
“whenever i get stressed.” she takes a drag to prove her point, exhaling smoke into the ink-black sky. “guess we don’t know each other as well as we used to.”
“vi, please,” you sigh. “can we actually talk about this without you lashing out like a wounded dog?”
and, it’s true — vi’s instinct when she’s upset has always been rushing to sink her teeth into something to protect herself from more harm, or gnawing on old wounds until fresh blood emerges.
“what’s there to talk about?” she snarls, tapping her cigarette, ash falling down into the abyss below you. “how you lied about dating drea?”
“i didn’t lie,” you huff. the winter night shivers down to your bones, but you cross your arms over your chest to keep yourself steady. “i just didn’t tell you that i’d gone out with her, specifically. we each admitted to seeing other people after our break-up. you never gave me a list of every fangirl you took to bed.”
“i told you about caitlyn —”
“the tabloids told me about caitlyn,” you counter.
“you knew how much i hated drea!” vi barks, finally whipping her head to look at you. “do you not remember how much of a homophobic asshole she was? how she told the entire hockey team that i cornered her in the showers one day and tried to kiss her?”
you bite down on the inside of your cheek, hard enough to taste copper.
“vi, if you just let me explain — she meant nothing to me.”
vi laughs, cold and bitter as the winter air. “i mean, jesus christ, you still have and wear the earrings she got you. meanwhile, you never wear that necklace i’d gotten you. as soon as we broke up, you were perfectly happy getting rid of me.”
“please, vi —”
vi’s eyes shine under the starlight, and she clenches her jaw so tight that you’re worried the bone might shatter. “did you not care about me at all, even after all that time, everything we’d been through?”
you uncross your arms and reach out to her, but she flinches away.
“violet —”
“no — you stopped caring about me to the point that you dated someone who made my life a living hell.” vi takes a shaky breath, and she chokes out your name. “we were best friends first, and i thought….god, i thought that meant we’d always love each other.”
the words hang heavy in the air, your heart pierced by her icicle-sharp words. in a haste, you wipe away the cold tears burning on your skin, turn around on your heels, and storm back inside.
vi finds you a few minutes later in the living room. you’re using the swiss army knife you usually keep clipped to your belt to tear through unpacked boxes. though she’s not sure what you’re looking for, vi turns on the lamp to help your search.
“what are you —”
you finally pull something out and offer it to her without a single word.
vi’s fingers are still slightly frozen as she holds it, her eyes following the precise swirls and crisp lines, designs similar to the tattoos on her back. you must have drawn them on the worn cardboard.
“what is this?”
“open it,” is all you say before sitting cross-legged on the velvety purple couch, which the two of you had lugged up three flights of stairs from the street corner just the other day. you pick at one of the tears in the fabric as you wait.
vi stays standing while she carefully cracks open the lid, well aware that it could disintegrate in her hands like sand through an hourglass.
what looks like a forgotten, ready-to-be-recycled shoebox turns out to contain much more than old sneakers:
valentine’s cards she’d given you in elementary school; notes you passed to each other during class or detention; her first songwriting notebook she must have left at your place; a jolly rancher lollipop wrapper from the halloween party where you first…you know. little trinkets vi had given you throughout the years. receipts, movie tickets, photobooth strips of your younger selves. so carefree and full of love.
her anger, her hurt, melts away into sappy affection; knees turning to jello, she slides onto the couch next to you.
you watch through the corner of your eye as vi rustles through contents of the shoebox-turned-time capsule, teeth worrying at your bottom lip.
“you….you kept all of this?”
“i put this box together on the first valentine’s day after our break-up. i was going to set it on fire,” you timidly admit, rubbing the back of your neck.
vi snorts. “seriously?”
“some sort of stupid ritual i read about in autostraddle, to get rid of your ex. but when it got to that point…all of this — all these memories — i couldn’t bring myself to get rid of them. i didn’t want to get rid of you.”
you reach into the box and pull out a faded, drunkenly-written postcard, chipped-polish nail fiddling with the french stamp in the corner.
“what about the necklace?” vi can’t help but ask. she runs her fingers through the delicate, dried violets from your corsage, which your mom had helped vi pick out a week before prom.
“ekko wanted new sneakers for his birthday, so i did the nobel big sister thing, and sold my most expensive piece of jewellery to pay for them,” you explain. you and vi had instinctively shuffled in closer together, the shoebox balanced on one leg from each of you, your knees touching. “plus — yeah, i was mad at you. god, i hated you — which probably was the reason i started going out with drea in the first place, and i’m really, really sorry that i did. but, i need you to know — i never stopped caring about you. i never stopped loving you, violet, and i don’t think i ever will. ”
silence stretches between you. vi stares at you in the warm living room light — how your eyes are darker, your lips parted, shoulders curling in to protect your bleeding heart. vi gently takes the postcard from you and places the shoebox on the floor.
“i never stopped loving you, either,” she promises, placing her now thawed hands on your cheeks. “and i don’t think i ever will.”
you smile softly as vi leans in closer, her eyes flickering between yours and your lips. you nod; vi presses her lips to yours, a tender vow that grows into something hungrier, something with teeth.
“gentler,” you tell her as you pull away slightly. you want to take your time, inhale the dizzying nicotine in her lungs, savor the acidic red wine on her tongue.
“gentler?” vi’s already eager, though, her hand inching up your thigh.
“slower, violet.”
vi shudders as you trail your fingers over the tattoo on her neck. “have i ever told you how much i love it when you say my name?”
“drea definitely wasn’t a fan of that habit,” you confess with a guilty grin. “one of the reasons we broke up is because, well...i kept accidentally saying your name during sex.”
“really?” vi chuckles darkly, a lightning bolt of possessiveness striking through her. “fucked you so good that i ruin you for other girls, hm?”
you roll your eyes, then suck in a breath when vi dips her fingers beneath your underwear, finding you wet and waiting.
“oh, sweetheart, you’re soaking. all this, just for me?”
“hm, i don’t know. drea did look pretty good in that dress,” you tease — because you know how to push vi’s buttons, too. “i have to admit, she was a pretty decent fuck.”
“don’t,” she warns, but her eyes are burning with desire.
you smirk, slipping your hand underneath her shirt. her skin is always warm, but, right now, it’s electric. her abs are sculpted by the gods, pave way to a thick haven of curls between her legs.
“maybe you need to remind me why your name always fell from my lips whenever she’d make me cum.”
vi’s cheeks are red-hot, her heart pounding against your chest as she pushes you onto the couch, and presses her body into yours.
“it would be my genuine pleasure.”
everything else to ash, and you’re left with this: your lace underwear dangling off your ankle as vi pushes your legs over her shoulders. her slick, skilled tongue sliding through your folds and her rough fingers squelching into your hole at an expert pace.
“f-fuck, vi,” you moan, running your fingers through her messy hair. you don’t miss how eagerly she grinds down onto the butter-soft velvet once you start tugging at the strands more firmly.
“feels good, yeah?” she moans like you’re the one fucking her. “i’m the one making you feel good?”
“yes.” you exhale sharply when she sucks on your clit. “i’m close, vi.”
“i know, baby,” she drawls, smirking against your skin.
“don’t stop.” you plead as she sucks a bruise into your thigh, fingers curling into you. “don’t stop, don’t stop —”
and, she fucking stops.
“vi,” you whine.
“uh-uh, you don’t get to cum quite yet, pretty girl.”
she sucks her honey-soaked fingers into her mouth as she gets up from the couch.
you pout, licking your lips even though you wish you could lick hers. “why not?”
“i’m still mad at you,” vi states. “you really did hurt my feelings. how do you plan on making it up to me?”
vi tries to resist, play the part of the jealous, possessive girlfriend — but, god, it’s hard, with how fucked out, how beautiful you look right now: your lips the color of ripe plums, swollen and stained with vi’s lipstick; the curls between your legs twinkling with droplets of your desire; and your eyes glazed over with lust as you gaze up at her from the couch.
“that new strap we got,” you suggest, still breathless. your breasts strain against the now-wrinkled silk of the shirt you’re wearing. vi’s thankful that it’s hers, because she wants nothing more than to rip the fabric off your body. “you — you can fuck me with it.”
“is that what you want?” vi hums, fire burning in her abdomen as she watches you nod eagerly. usually, you’re the one who takes control, and that’s perfectly fine with vi, but tonight….
tonight, she has something to prove.
you’re both naked by the time you reach the bedroom, clothes thrown across the apartment floor as you take turns leaving bites and bruises on exposed areas of the other’s skin. you get down on your knees, the shag carpet shocking your skin as vi looms over you, gnawing at her scarred, kiss-swollen lips. you help her adjust the harness and attach everything accordingly, leaving a kiss on each star glittering across her thigh once you’re done. she makes you wait patiently as she coats the dildo with a healthy amount of lube.
vi offers you her hand, sticky with lube and your essence from earlier, and lifts you to your feet. she kisses you sweetly before pushing you onto the bed.
"turn around," vi instructs. "on your knees."
you comply, already feeling yourself dripping onto the comforter in anticipation. vi kneels behind you on the bed, grasping the plush of your hips between her strong hands. you gasp when she spits onto your hole and starts to fuck into you, inch by inch.
"you okay, baby?" vi asks once she’s halfway inside you.
"yes," you breathe. "keep going.”
so, vi continues gliding further into your silken heat, and once she’s nestled inside you completely, her thighs meeting your ass — that’s when she turns on the vibrations. vi moans, so loud that you’re sure the entire building can hear. she starts grinding into you, but otherwise doesn’t move.
“violet.” you snap your neck back as far as you can, appreciating how perfectly dishevelled vi looks behind you, eyes rolled up to heaven, drool trickling from the corner of her plump lips. “are you gonna keep fucking me any time soon?”
“it’s just so much,” she whines, and continues rutting against you.
it is so much — the waves of pleasure quivering from her body to yours, the subtle burn of her happy trail rubbing against your skin, the melodic timbre of her voice — but it’s not enough.
“i know, baby. but i need more. if you don’t do something now….maybe there’s someone else i can call…”
your words effectively reignite that spark of jealousy, and she growls. vi slips out slightly, only to thrust back in, over and over, until you’re a moaning mess beneath her. your body starts to shake, but before you almost collapse onto your elbows, so vi reaches one hand to your neck and lifts you up so that her pierced nipples brushed against your back.
she kisses the back of your neck, trailing her hand down to pinch one of your nipples and you hiss, dizzy with pain and pleasure. she moves her other hand below the harness, rubbing her swollen clit in tight circles and gathering as much slick as she can. she brings those same fingers, glistening in the moonlight, to your lips, and you let her shove them into your mouth so you can finally taste her.
"this enough for you, greedy girl?" she taunts.
you are greedy, when it comes to her, suckling on her digits like a lollipop while she stretches you open so deliciously, the obscene squelching of your pussy accompanying a symphony of moans and curses.
"yes, violet. f-fuck, yes!"
you feel vi groan against the crook of your neck, where her teeth had been nibbling at the sweat-soaked skin.
“fuck — i need to watch you fall apart, knowing that i'm the one who makes you feel this good."
with that, vi flips you over, so she can watch you unravel. she hisses when your nails find purchase on her shoulders, digging down her tattooed back.
“you’re so fucking hot. so gorgeous. i’m so lucky that you’re mine.” vi’s voice is still rough and coarse with lust, but she’s looking at you all wonder-filled and soft-eyed, like you’re a work of art displayed at the louvre. “you….you are mine, right?”
the question is shockingly vulnerable from the woman who’s fucking you at a truly brutal speed, deep enough that you’re sure you’ll feel the lucious ache of her for days now.
you bring your hands to gently cradle her face as you wrap your legs around her hips. vi snakes one of her hands down to rub at your throbbing clit, while the other rests lovingly on your tattooed ribs, where delicate violets bloom.
“i’m yours,” you assure, and your heart glows when she beams above you. “you’re mine too, right?”
vi nods, damp strands of her hair tickling your forehead.
“i’m yours.”
there’s a mess pooling underneath your entangled bodies by the time you’re both finished.
for a few seconds, you both lay on your backs, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling, until vi breaks the silence:
“did you say that you brought home a slice of cake?”
the two of you throw on some clothes, throw the sheets in the wash, and vi pulls you into her lap as you share the slice of cake at the kitchen table, chattering about everything and nothing for however long, until vi glances at the oven clock.
“shit — it’s midnight already. guess time flies when you’re having fun.” vi wraps her arms around your middle, and kisses your shoulder. “happy valentine’s day, stargirl.”
“happy valentine’s day, vi,” you smile, weaving your fingers through hers. you crane your neck back so you can feed her a bite of cake. “you’re the sweetest.”
“this cake’s pretty sweet, too,” vi jokes. she peppers kisses across your face until you’re giggling, skin sticky with frosting.
“i’m glad you like it,” you laugh. “they do wedding cakes, too, but i think we should explore our options before settling on one for ours.”
vi’s lips pause just as she starts to kiss underneath your jaw.
“do you mean for our wedding?” she smirks. “is there something you wanna ask me, stargirl?”
“damn it —” you cough, almost choking on a mouthful of cake. “i - i had this whole thing planned - wait, let me —”
you disappear into the bedroom and reemerge with an intricately painted vase. you hand it to vi and sit in the chair next to her.
“this is what i made in my pottery seminar,” you explain. “it’s supposed to be like —”
“that mural you made of us senior year,” vi finishes, looking between the vase and you with stars in her eyes.
“exactly. except we won’t have to spend saturday detention painting over it.” you chuckle at the memory as vi shakes her head with a small smile dancing across her lips knowingly. “i was gonna promise to bring my beautiful wife fresh flowers for this vase every week and then i was gonna ask you to look inside….” you gesture at vi to do so, and she reaches in to pull out a velvet box. “and then i was gonna get down on one knee —”
“it’s okay — you’ve already done plenty of that tonight,” vi laughs, and you bump her shoulder playfully.
“and i was gonna tell you that i love you, that i have for basically my whole life, and that i want to spend the rest of it with you,” you finish, heart fluttering in your chest.
“i can’t believe you were going to propose to me.” vi places the vase on the kitchen counter behind her, smiling at you softly.
“is that a yes or….?”
instead of answering, vi walks over to the couch, reaches behind and pulls up a heart-printed gift bag, and hands it to you. she watches intently as you pull out a turquoise-blue collar.
“damn, i did not know you were this kinky.” you raise an eyebrow at vi. “so, is this a yes to my proposal or….just something you just wanna try in the bedroom?”
“w-what? no!” vi stutters, her cheeks blooming pink. “i mean, yes! well – okay, i also had this plan for valentine’s day.” it’s very endearing, how vi’s scrambling to find the right words. your punk rock girlfriend, flustered and lovesick for you. “okay — there’s a dog at the shelter i thought we could adopt. i brought home the paperwork for us to fill out, if that’s what you want — it’s all in there. there’s a picture of him, too.”
you reach in the bag again and find a printed photo of an adorable brown lab with the warmest eyes.
“he’s adorable,” you squeal. “does he have a name?”
“scooby, of course.” vi grins. “so, do you wanna adopt a dog together?”
“i do.”
“i love the sound of that,” vi hums. “there’s one more thing in there for you….”
it’s a ring pop — and you’re not sure if it’s the sugar rush, or the woman getting down on one knee and asking you, so tenderly, so sweetly, to marry her, but your heart is absolutely soaring.
“we might have to tell our kids a more pg version of the night we got engaged,” vi whispers later, when you’re back cuddling in bed under fresh sheets.
“kids?” you twist around in vi’s arms to find her grinning at you. “is there something you want to ask me?”
“is scooby not our first child?” vi guffaws and you poke her ribs at her cheekiness.
“true.”
“besides, you know what they say, stargirl,” she practically sings. “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes —”
you cut her off with a sugary, confetti-flavored kiss, your smiles melting into one.
#okay so i had not one but TWO ideas for valentine's themed fics#the other one would have been part 2 of that fwb!vi fic#but unfortunately i have abandoned ship for that one#might rework it in the future bc i do have a deep attachment to that au#BUT im gonna start writing that spiderverse au !!!#and also my thesis OOPS but that's another story#but also ive just been really demotivated to write lately so i might take a lil break from tumblr#idk y'all im tired af#but pls enjoy this !!!!#vi smut#vi fanfic#vi#vi x reader#vi angst#vi arcane x reader#vi arcane#lesbian#wlw smut#wlw fanfic#saf writes
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Bet On Me
Pairing: Jack Abbot x Reader (she/her/afab)
Word Count: 3.5k
Warnings: 18+, no y/n use, italics
Note: bear with me cuz i havent written in months but first pitt fic 😈 send me them requests im currently obsessed lmao
also lowkey if anything is incorrect pls tell me cuz i am the proof reader round these parts 😭
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Jack Abbot had never really been addicted to anything. Sure he had an affliction for cigarettes for a while, and on more than one occasion, sought out the high after an adrenaline rush, but these weren’t things he necessarily needed.
What he did need was the constant. He was addicted to the pattern, your rhythm, it was as if his day wouldn’t start until you had said those four words.
“Wanna make a bet?” you’d smirk, talking in a hushed tone for him and only him to hear. It was addicting. Every single day you’d find him at the start of his shift no matter where he was, those four words ringing in his ears like a sweet song when he tried to fall asleep. Wanna make a bet.
He always did.
“What’s it today,” his hazel eyes would find yours, scanning your face. He’d let them linger on your lips just slightly too long before snapping them back up to your eyes, only to find you flittering back and forth between his. Surely you hadn’t noticed but you were always too observant.
“I bet,” you would trail off, eyes scanning around central as you searched for your latest victim. Sometimes he would swear that you were bribing people into your side just so he would lose the bet. “We get an overdose patient in the first hour.”
Abbot scoffs, pushing off the counter the two of you had been leaning on, running a hand through his hair as he ruminated on the bet. Too easy, that happened most nights, he could counter with something more rare but it would be risky. He turns back to you about to respond but his breath catches in his throat. You were looking up at him, head resting on the counter, hair falling over your shoulder revealing your neck, and those sweet innocent eyes were following every movement his hand made through his hair. Your teeth teased at your bottom lip as you bit them, a habit he found you doing when you were lost in thought or concentration.
“Too easy,” he shakes his head, bring you both back to the present as you stand up straight once again frowning. “How about broken clavicle before 4am?”
You make a noise of dissatisfaction, ruminating over how likely it was someone would come in with a broken bone at all, let alone the clavicle. Then adding in the time factor, it adds to the risk and…
“I can pick something easier if-”
“No, no!” you interject, a small smile working its way on your face. You always did love a risk. “Sounds perfect.”
Perfect. God you were gonna ruin him.
“Well what do you wanna wager, Dr. Abbot?” This was his favourite part. The way you say his name, dragging out every letter, making it sound like its dripping with honey. He wanted to hear you say it over and over and over again.
“Anything.” It slips out before he can stop himself, god he must have been tired already.
“Oh?” You laugh, that beautiful sound ringing in his ears as your eyes shine bright at him. He didn’t deserve you, your innocence, your energy. “How about a drink and a massage, I don’t think you could afford losing anymore money this week and my back is killing me.”
His head is spinning at this point and he barely registers you holding out your hand for him to shake. That meant you wanted to go back to his place. Just the two of you, a drink, god fuck. Shake her hand idiot.
He did, probably for slightly too long. Before he can pull away, you lean in closer to his ear with one last tease.
“I hope you’re good with your hands, Dr. Abbot.”
Then you’re off, skipping your way across central to take over rounds for the day shift. For you he could be good, his hands could be good he means. Please god let someone’s clavicle break.
Its not long before you’re swept away doing work up after work up. Even during the night shift it seemed there was a constant flow of patients, especially since it was a friday, various college kids who were blackout drunk or elderly patients that just got checked on before bedtime. You had finally sat down for the first time in what felt like hours after finishing the initial workup on an allergic reaction, ordering a shot of epinephrine for a girl who had one bad anniversary dinner. You were adding to her chart when you felt someone slide up beside you, light clicks coming from their own ipad as they typed up paitent charts.
“So,” Dr. Ellis began, a shit-eating grin spreads across her face as you glance up at her. “You and Doctor Abbot? What’s going on there?”
You can’t help but laugh with her, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” This wasnt the first time she had asked about your relationship, but you had insisted that despite how badly you wanted to see him at home in baggy grey sweats and messy curls, there was once again nothing going on. Definitely nothing at all.
“Right, so he’s just making heart eyes at you right now for fun?” She chided, beckoning you to look across the room with a tilt of her head.
You follow her motion across central and chills rake down your body as your eyes lock with Abbot’s. His hair was messy at this point, the way it always got around 2am with how often he tugged at it when he was stressed. God you wished it was you pulling at it instead. He tilts his head slightly, pulling your eyes back down to his and he smiles softly before tapping his watch and walking back to check on patients.
Instinctively you go to check the time, but Ellis beats you to it. “Nearly 4am, don’t tell me you guys have another bet going?”
“We always have a bet going,” you remind her, turning back to face her once again.
“In that case I hope you win,” she grins, returning both of your tablets to the main docking station and grabbing a new one for each of you. She passes you your tablet but pulls it back just before you can grab it, raising an eyebrow at you. “What did you wager?”
“Oh uhm,” You face flushes and you stand up, gingerly grabbing your tablet from her and shrugging as you rush back towards your patients. “Just the usual, money.”
“You know none of us believe that!!”
You face is flushed bright red as you check the vitals on your first bed. Stable BP, no blown pupils. Don’t look at your watch, dont do it. 3:48. Shit.
Next bed, paitent sleeping but stable vitals once again, still waiting for that head CT because of course they would be backed up at this time of night. Do not check the time. 3:52. Fuck.
By the time you’re at the third bed you can barely focus on checking charts and vitals, grumbling as you toss down your tablet at central and look towards the ambulance bay. 3:57.
You look around the room, eyes stopping when you catch Abbot staring at you once again. He glances down to his watch again, mirroring him you check yours one last time. 3:59. Your head whips up to find him, boots landing heavy on the ground as he stalks towards you interrupted by two medics bursting through the ambulance doors and you both rush towards them.
“37 year old female, car accident. Tenderness and pain coming from the upper chest, but stable vitals.” The medic rattles off as you and Abbot wheel the bed towards the first trauma bay.
Abbot’s hands press lightly over the patient’s neck and then down overtop their clavical where she’s winces in pain, groaning as he presses overtop the same spot again as you order pain meds. You start assisting with hooking up the various monitors, but your head snaps around when Abbot says your name.
“Looks like we have a broken clavicle,” he doesn’t want to smile, but can’t help the grin on his face when your eyes light up.
“Perfect,” you whisper out, catching a few strange glances from the other nurses in the room and you quickly reorient yourself. “I mean, let’s get her up for a scan!”
You nod to the other nurses as they take the bed out of the room, waiting for the doors to slide closed before you look up at Abbot again. You open your mouth to say something but your voice catches in your throat when you see the way he’s looking at you -like a predator about to catch its prey.
“What do you like to drink?” He voice is low and gravely, only for you to hear. His eyes drop down to your lips and back up, once, twice, and you can see the rise and fall of his chest quicken.
“Just, uhm, just whatever is fine.” You squeak out, heart racing as he takes another step closer to you. He could get used to seeing you shy, seeing you blushing underneath him as he-
As he focused on the present like his therapist recommended. Jesus get a grip man.
“Wine okay?” His fingers are almost touching yours, and you gasp when they accidentally graze against your arm.
“Mmhm,” Your lips are sealed tight together and for just a moment you think maybe this was all a dream. That you had actually hallucinated this whole thing and finally gone crazy from the lack of sleep.
Just as Abbot opens his mouth to say more the doors to the trauma bay slide open and the two of you shoot apart like repelling magnets as the cleaning worker wheels in their cart to mop the floor. Abbot is rushing out before you can get another word in and you awkwardly apologize to the worker before hazily finding your way through central back to your desk.
“Five minutes tell we’re off, but judging by the fact that all your paients charts are caught up, one might assume you have somewhere to be.” The teasing tone causes you to groan and drop your head against your desk as Ellis rolls her chair up beside yours.
“Yeah my bed,” you lie, refusing to pick up your head to look at her as her eyes burn holes in you.
“So what did you win?” She lightly pushes your shoulder causing you to look over at her and break out in a fit of giggles. “The nurses say you were a little too excited for that broken clavicle.”
“Always with the gossip train,” you mutter, letting your hands slide down your face. “Fine, I may or may not have won drinkswithAbbot.” You hurriedly mumble out the last part, standing up quickly as you pull your jacket off the back of your chair and sling it over your shoulder. You had to get out of there before you got embarrassed anymore by Ellis, or god forbid, another nurse overheard your conversations.
“Oh you are gonna get a lot more than just drinks-“
“Good morning and night to you too Dr. Ellis,” you cut her off, bending at the knee in a little curtsy, before making your way out to the parking lot ignoring her cheers as the door slams behind you.
You weren’t entirely sure where you were supposed to meet up with Abbot, but as soon as your feet hit the pavement of the parking lot his were walking in step right behind you. He hovers his hand lightly over your lower back and guides you to turn down the first street as you head towards his apartment a light banter about the various patients you had seen during the night fills the air comfortably as you finally make it to his building.
Unsurprisingly his apartment was neat, almost bare which is expected considering most of his time was spent at the hospital, but there was still a warmth of home. Various books where sprawled out on the coffee table by his couch, surrounded by even more bookcases containing various movies, records, and you guessed it even more books. Of course he had a dvd player and all his favourites sitting on a shelf by his TV, once again reminding you that he was nearly twice your age.
You hear some glasses clink together behind you and you turn around to find Abbot pouring some red wine in each before meeting you on the couch. He sits down beside you, your breath hitching as his thighs touch yours and you involuntarily lean closer into him as you take the glass.
“Cheers to your win,” his voice is soft, it’s so quiet compared to the authority he exudes in the ER. He probably would talk you through it. You choke on the wine and cough, the red liquid spilling out onto your shirt.
“Shit,” you cough out, settling the glass down on the table as Abbot does the same, his hand coming up to your shoulder to steady you as you catch your breath through the coughs. “I’m so sorry, that’s so embarrassing!”
“No, it’s okay,” His reassures, hands coming up to steady your waist as you get through the fit of coughs.
“I swear I know how to drink,” you laugh out, eyes darting down to his fingers playing with the end of your shirt.
“If you want I have spare clothes,” he offers, once again toying with the edge of your shirt. His fingers dance along the hem before they slowly glide along your bare skin, causing you to gasp at the cold feeling.
Your face is centimeters away from his and you can’t help but dart your eyes from his hands up to his eyes, then his lips which are stained a deep red from the wine. A surge of confidence bubbles up in you and before you can lose it you find your hand coming up to cup his cheek bringing his eyes to yours.
“Well, I won’t be needing a shirt for my massage, right Dr. Abbot?”
That pushed him over the edge, pulling you into a rough kiss, teething clashing against each other. Your hands moved their way up to his locks, intertwining with those damn curls you had been so desperate to mess up before. He pulls away from you, tugging your bottom lip lightly between his teeth causing you to moan and you could see the fire light in his eyes.
You move closer to him, settling on top of his lap with your legs on either side of him, as he finally pulls off your top and unclips your bra letting them fall to floor. His mouth is back on you, trailing kisses down your neck till he reaches your collar bone. You let out a whine he bites down, sucking and smoothing the area over with his tongue over and over causing you to moan and grind down on him.
When he finally pulls back his pupils are blown out, lips puffy and red, he looks absolutely wrecked from just kissing you and you’re sure you look the same. He nods his head down, following his gaze you find a dark purple bruise forming on your clavicle where he had just been focusing his attacks.
“Jack!” you scold, noticing the way his hips jerk up into yours as you say his name. He can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips from your reaction. He would mark your body over and over again, he wanted everyone to know you were his and his alone.
“Think it’s about time I fulfill the other part of that bet,” he’s quick to flip the two of you over causing you to gasp as you back hit the couch. Jack sinks to his knees in front of you, pulling off ur scrub bottoms and undies in one swoop, and positioning himself between your thighs.
Your hands are quick to find his salt and pepper hair as he kisses softly up your thigh till his nose was hitting right where you craved him. He licks a long stride up your slit and you whine, tossing your head back against the couch as he repeats the motion once more before kissing and nipping at your thighs again.
“Jack, please” you plea, just wanting him to give you anything. End the teasing and rail you over and over till you cried.
“Eyes on me baby,” He hummed, his hazel eyes cutting right through you as he finally returned his mouth to your cunt. It was an unspoken deal, the longer you held eye contact the more he would give you.
You watched his eyes scan your whole body, the way your back arched every time he added a finger, the way your brows would press together when he would brush against the right spots, he was always too damn observant. But god was he just drunk on you. He loved feeling your fingers tighten in his hair when he’d suck and lap at your clit and the way your eyes would close for just a moment before snapping back to his. He was addicted to this, to you.
By the time you were cumming he was wasted. The sweet sounds, the way your thighs were threatening to close around him, the blush coating your face threatening to drag down over your neck and chest. You were so beautiful, so perfect, and all for him.
“Jack,” your voice snapped his attention back to you, your eyes pricking with tears as he pulled away from your cunt, coming up to capture your lips with his. His hands fumbled with the hem of his shirt, breaking the kiss to toss it off, whilst your hands worked on untying his scrub pants and letting them fall to floor.
“You sure you want this?” Want him he means, everything that comes with him. If there was one other pattern that came with Jack Abbot other than an addiction to you, it was this. The feeling of burden.
“I want this,” your voice is hushed and you can see the way the statement softens his eyes, brows relaxing as he pulls you into another kiss, this one is less frantic, less rushed. A declaration of something neither of you wanted to label just yet, but a promise to each other.
He makes quick work of his boxers, spitting on his hand and pumping his length a few times before teasing your slit up and down, and finally pushing his full length into you. He lets out a deep groan, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you scratch along his back, wrapping your legs around him.
He reveled in the filthy noises you made as he began fucking in and out of your tight cunt, feeling your fingers dig into his back and pull at the curls on his neck. He was driving you insane, between the kisses and the lewd praises that streamed out of him like a memorized scripture.
“Such a good girl,” He’d repeat over and over, his good girl. “Your pretty hole is taking me so well.”
All you could do was whine out his name over and over, he was all you could think about. The pleasure he was giving you, the bruises he was decorating your collar with, the head of his dick kissing that sweet spot over and over. He held your hips down as he pounded into you, bringing one hand up to rub circles around your clit cause you to tighten around him, holding on to his biceps as you moan.
“Mm close, Jack” You could feel the way his arms tensed, dick twitching inside you signaling he was close too. He could cum just from hearing you say his name.
“Gonna cum for me?” He rasps out, practically out of breath when he takes in the sight of you. Pupils blown, hair sticking to your face, tears pricking at your eyes, and god, the way your pussy was taking his length so well, it was mesmerizing to watch. “Please, cum for me baby.”
Thats what sent you over the edge, the begging. He wanted every bit of you, would beg to have you, to please you. He continued fucking you through your high, finger slowing down on your clit till he was pulling out and painting your stomach white.
He falls to his knees in front of you, resting his head on your thigh as he looks up at you with a lazy grin, those beautiful hazel eyes finding yours. You watched as he caught his breath, eyes never leaving each other as you both came down, finally able to form coherent thoughts.
“Thank you,” you smile while reaching out a hand to card fingers through his messy hair. Of course you would say thank you after making him cum the hardest he ever has. Sweet, innocent you.
“Who said we were done yet?” He wasn’t letting you go that easy, not until the sun was setting again.
Maybe Robby could cover his shift tomorrow.
#the pitt x reader#jack abbot x reader#the pitt x you#jack abbot x you#jack abbot x female reader#now i better get all the pitt thoughts in my inbox lmao#once again sorry if this is rusty cuz im a lil slow at writing and also like havent written in so long its crazy but im tired af lmao#jack abbot smut
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heres your food im redesigning some other idiots for a lineup
#homestuck#hom3stuck#le jake#ultimate jake#terezi pyrope#rosebot#rose lalonde#dirk strider#i made him two chocolate bars tall on purpose#he lost height privileges in my eyes#im so fucking tired AUGH#borzoi art#terezis og outfit ugly af im sorry it tastes so bad#feel free to ask me questions abt this or requests#i will draw them
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Power Nap
she insisted for him to stop sleeping on the floor of the garage
well
he did get a couch in there
#kevin levin#ben 10 fanart#ben 10 uaf#ben 10 series#ben 10#gwen x kevin#gwen tennyson#ben 10 alien force#ben 10 ultimate alien#probably post!AF S3 finale#kev has been distant from touch during his mutation and gwen is making up for the time lost :<#how he got that couch is a guess as good as mine#gwevin fanart#gwevin#ben10 gwevin#mouse doodle#im tired of being a perfectionist so IM JUST POSTING DOODLES SMH#im cringe and free#he probably fell asleep while working under the car and gwen put him somewhere comfier#small steps yk
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i love when ppl draw bumblebee like the happy little creachure he is but also i love when people draw bumblebee like he's had 500 beers in the last 1 hour and still the pain won't even ebb
#bonus when they do both by making him just utterly psychotic but he smiles so no one notices#i am a shameful idw bee enjoyer but like in the tired af ppl pleasing libra girl who needs a therapist so fking bad but#has 700000 billion duties and 900000000 billion expectations and mean bitches in his ear telling him hes stupid#sense#and not the he feels like an officer sense like no my queen is just a teachers pet doing her best which is her worst im afraid#anyways i love bee hes very indignant and a bitch but also im gonna stand beside her sorry#u do not understand how powerful it was to give him a cane . a literal crutch to hold onto to feel stronger even when ratchet says he doesnt#have to anymore but yet bee still insists bcs he doesnt have time for the repairs itll take when others cannot survive#and 2 it comforts him with support and also power and so he cradles it close with the idea of him being weak & needing smthing else#to make him strong#even tho at this point it's rlly just for comfort but he cant afford to allow himself to have comfort when others cant#or dont need it in his heroism ideals (specifically optimus being seen as so much stronger than him)#optimus also had bee tho. had him. but bee is so self conscious he just sees all his failures surrounding optimus & views himself not a#crutch to lean on but a crutch to optimus' character#he rlly needed rodimus and his fiery upbeat persona so they could fake it till they made it together and he left & fucking exploded#(in bees eyes)#like idk im just obsessed with this little tryhard loser#he islike a sad little clingy mother who refuses to think herself as human. she is just mother. lives off evrryones accomplishments#never her own#idk like hes so interesting tonme i want to kill him teehee#chew on him like sponge cak#bumblebee#transformers#tf bumblebee#tf idw#idw#tf#????#maccadam#i hate not knowing waht tag to use
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Who let her on the sauce
#im very tired but i wanted to draw smth silly and unserious af#inspired by bunnys post /silly#get sauced looooser#stupid sauce#tadc#the amazing digital circus#my art#jax#tadc jax#fyp#tadc sona#tadc oc#tadc art#the amazing digital circus oc#the amazing digital circus art#for you page#for you
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—Swap au— part 1?
Once upon a time there was an angel named Adam The Angel of Life: He was God’s most perfect angel whose curiosity and joy brought hope to those of heaven and was considered the pure light of what heaven was truly all about.
However hidden by the eyes of every heaven born and God’s, behind closed doors, the counsel of heaven would push higher expectations on the angel than one could ever expect the angel of life to be given.
The elders were never pleased in regard of whatever Adam did or would punish constantly for not being able to do enough. Neither did they believed he was the epitome of beauty and perfection as God would claim he was, eventually, this lead the angel to do drastic measures to prevent any judgment of his person. Modifying his appearance to a less friendlier look, almost considerably scary beyond the opposite of perfection or beauty. Adam would hide behind a mask to cover the shame and disgust of his skin. No longer feeling proud to be content of his body or face; replaced with insecurities brought from those who he considered righteous and perfect. To those he saw as his family; those who were always right and should obey their every rule.
This caused stress and sadness to the angel, covering it with a smile and feigned oblivion. No one truly understood Adam, neither did he ever felt like he belonged or welcomed in the world of the devine.
And from the dirt came Lucifer and Sera, equals in every way: the first man and the first woman. God’s most perfect creation.
The first humans to wonder the earth, and the very beginning of humanity.
What one wouldn’t expect was for the two humans to not get along and argue plenty. Both stubborn and prideful to not submit to the other. Sera wanted control over him and to follow whats ordered, Lucifer wanted freedom and refused to obey. Neither wanted to give in to their wants and kept distant.
With time Lucifer began yearning companionship, but through his solitude he embraced his talents to create and dream. Unlike Sera, Lucifer went beyond what the angels ever imagined a human to be. He’d dream and dream so much that his hands were seen like brushes building and recreating those images to perfection. He began small; a simple robe made out of wool from sheep to mimic those of an angels attire, he’d discovered a sense of ‘style’ by painting his cheeks red claiming it made him feel special, different, a unique attribute of his for distinction and personality. He’d build toys or even cook extravagant food and gifts to the angels. He’d even create a new language to confuse the above and to speak with the animals.
Lucifer’s creativity stunned the entirety of heaven.
His beauty was enhancing to one’s eyes, his voice was considered angelic, alluring to their ears and his charisma captivated everyone.
Lucifer was the epitome of perfection.
And within Adam’s curiosity he convinced Lilith the highest seraphim to allow him to venture earth. With delight he wondered through the garden of Eden, the uniqueness and new wonders left him speechless. He admired the animals that lived peacefully and harmony inside the paradise creation his father would talk wonders about; the countless of fruit and vegetables, the greenery of the planet’s nature in its entirety and the beautiful blue but changing sky. But he hasn’t yet met with the creations so he kept his expectations low as he saw every form of life as perfect. He wasn’t quite sure if he wanted to meet the humans, feeling slight fear of them rejecting him into their world.
He kept his hands away from touching it all fearing to stain its beauty. He admired the life inside Eden, wherever he’d look there was life; animals, plants, the air, inside water, even under the dirt it had little wiggling creatures living inside there.
And throughout his journey never did he feel frightened or threatened by the creatures there.
Earth had welcomed him with open arms and he never felt more warm and comfortable. As if he had belonged there too.
In one of Lucifer’s many escapes from his overly obedient but controlling wife. He found himself following his favorite path that lead to one of the most beautiful places in Eden.
But little did the first man know, that the most beautiful thing in all Eden would not be anything belonging of the garden but an angel.
Behind bushes and trees he almost stumbled to the ground when he came across a figure, his eyes landed in a very tall bird looking creature. He was beautiful. From the golden of his wings to the brightness of his halo, aura and the golden blinding eyes of his face; like two suns burning his every core.
Lucifer was beyond fascinated, he had seen angels. Plenty actually. Every one of them were unique and very divine looking.
But this one stole everything of its purity and was assembled into one; an ethereal being he had yet to discover. He was different from the other angels, the unique appearance added another touch of making him stand out from any other. Lucifer thought his face was very expressive unlike the other angels and that just made him look even more friendlier to approach.
Aside from that, the angel showed much wonder and joy to every single little thing he’d find in the garden it made Lucifer’s heart beat fast. Still hidden however he followed him watching his every move, unlike the other angels this one kept his hands away from touching anything however his gentleness and kindness embraced those around him without even trying to reach out. And, oh, did Lucifer wanted to reach out to him. The animals would nuzzle against him while walking past them looking through the depths of the garden.
Lucifer was captivated. Enchanted by whatever magic the angel held on to his every being.
Lucifer had fallen in love without realizing it.
When Lucifer mustered the courage to approach Adam, he had offered him a fruit basket as a welcome. Adam was stunned by the gift but grateful nonetheless of the first man’s kindness. The gesture of welcoming someone was foreign for Adam; but the simple gesture alone brought reassurance and a relief to an anxious soul like himself. He expressed his gratitude with a golden feather as he had noticed the first man’s eyes captive on his wings.
Adam was also speechless of the perfect creation of God. Lucifer was a being he’s never seen before, there was no denial in the exterior beauty of his form, and even as much as he didn’t look too far off from an angel the first man was a curious being like himself! Lucifer was a free spirit, he had a very unique way of thinking and abilities. For example he is far more talkative than any of the angels he’s met, very expressive, his skin was very fleshy looking but there was something in his eyes he doubted he’d ever see in angel, and that was… life. So much life in one being it made his heart pound rapidly.
Their first meeting was short for Lucifer’s displeasure. But ever since their meeting both beings couldn’t help but bring themselves from thinking about the other. Lucifer couldn’t help but to dream of a life with Adam. Adam couldn’t help but to find himself thinking how lucky Lucifer was to live in such a marvelous planet like earth.
Both dreamers wanted a sense of freedom to choose what their heart desires.
But that meant breaking rules and going against heaven.
#adamsapple#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin hotel#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#guitarduck#honestly wanted to finish this one in one go but it was getting too late and im tired af 😭
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#didyouknow that vivi has made the Starstruck Face approximately 4 times throughout the whole saga
it is tradition atp to have her be really amazed at something each episode
upd: someone pointed out this as well thank you !!! that makes it 5
#also extremely funny to me that she does the same pose twice yes i love to see it#and i'll never get tired of it ever she's wonderful#valid af reaction to dead lewis btw.#🍋 blah blah#mystery skulls animated#msa#vivi yukino#vivi msa#msa vivi#im not sorry for the vivi posting nor will i ever be
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Can Joey get a piggyback ride from his band mates? Look below to find out!








#slipknot#my art#slipknot fanart#fanart#3#4#8#6#1#5#0#2#7#sid wilson#joey jordison#paul gray#chris fehn#jim root#james root#craig jones#shawn clown crahan#shawn crahan#mick thomson#corey taylor#nu metal#metal music#happy birthday joey!#it's so fucking late im tired af...
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CW: Yandere Themes
⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆
I recently started reading Ovid's Metamorphoses, which is themed around Greek and Roman mythology and inspired me to connect it with Amphoreus. It goes like this: "My arrows are deadly, but one is even more deadly than they are, / the shaft which has smitten a heart that has never been wounded before." The context is Cupid has fired an arrow at Apollo, rendering him lovesick for Daphne, and I started thinking about what if the scenario played out among the Chrysos Heirs? Aglaea is the inheritor of the Coreflame of Mnestia, the Titan of Romance. You and Mydei are threats to the control she exerts over the Flamechase Journey, so she decides to diminish the power both of you wield; she tethers the two of you together, but in different ways: the strings attached to Mydei wrap around his heart, pulling him towards you forcibly, while the strings attached to you push you away. In doing so, she diverts any thoughts Mydei may have towards usurping her power to containing you in his control, and if you're trapped with Mydei, there isn't a chance that you can try to rebel either.
#i had more to say but im tired af and also i don't wanna push myself to write too much wlekgjwelkgjsegsg burnout is real!#but there will hopefully be a mydei post soon because WGHUIEHPAGUIPAWGEIHUUHAPWQ498TYQ3WT9U[3q'ojwgrp0384hOW*EY(W*(UTWT*U#i love him so much and im so scared in the story so i haven't played it yet. im genuinely spooked#also yes i will be getting to asks! nobody asked this but i feel terrible for leaving them rotting in my inbox and wanted to say smth :)#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere hsr#yandere honkai star rail#yandere mydei#yandere mydei x reader#mydei#mydei x reader#mydei hsr
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quickly redid my addison designs + a tenna height reference. WAOW

my stupid freaks who i hate (love)
#boring af bc i just did the pose from their main sprites but yay. now i know.#i think it wld be funny to draw tenna super rendered and spamton totally flat. but i cba here#deltarune#deltarune spoilers#dude their height differnece is sooooo crazy funny#tenna: me and my stupid ant boyfriend#spamton: me and my stupid boyfriend ant#<- really funny. laugh#get it. ant tenna. his name#okay. im tired. goodnight#i dont have an explanation for puppet spmatonnbeing even shorter except for the acid thing. sorry thats boring#ummm i have a fun story for his grey streaks tho. except him just being old#myyy hc is. he started dying his hair at the start of his bigshot era#and he eventually realised it was taking longer and longer for his roots to grow out#until he didnt need to dye it at all#this is just like. puppetification gasterification bullshit ok#but anyways the white hairs coming theu when hes older is like. bittersweet#bc it kinda shows gasters influence over him fading away? but also him losing even more of whats hes trying so hard to get back#ok anyway boring deisgn shit done. now i can draw yaoi for realllll#… another time. goodnight again#gallery
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everlasting trio redesign
check out my commissions
#danny phantom#everlasting trio#danny fenton#sam manson#tucker foley#hi im tired af but i made myself draw SOMETHING#particularly bc i've been wanting to draw this for about a month???#i had a much easier time doing this with the three of them at the same time than doing it one by one#might do more later but dont hold me up to that im busy af lmao#anyway im proud of these#sam with her space buns and rose design on the shirt#danny with the space themed embroidery done by sam on his dysphoria hoodie#and i had to do research on how to do tucker's hair but i like what's supposed to be under the beanie but also the ankh necklace#also i decided the only reason tucker's beanie is red is as a reference to danny#so are sam's space buns#and the colors on danny's embroidery are references to sam (purple moon) and tucker (stars) and phantom (planet)#i was also thinking the guys are also wearing piercings by sam's influence#and i was originally going to give sam a different more distressed skirt but i also wanted her and tucker to have matching patterns
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bites you bites you bites you
#i wanted to draw more werewolf shart before Halloween but then i got sick twice in a row and#things have been busy#also drawing werewolves is difficult af so#drawing face profiles on the other hand is easy and fun :3#also since i found out my blog is flagged as mature for some reason i was pissed for a bit#still am#ill make a new one eventually ive just been busy and tired yk how it is#my art#shadowheart#astarion#bg3#this wasnt meant to be shippy but im not the boss of you so
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Here’s your little Commander Thorn. He sees his brothers getting upsies and now he wants ‘em too.



We’re coming for you next, Thire. Just you wait.
Fox ✅
Hound ✅
Thorn ✅
Thire
Stone
#i’m so tired#and now im sick#yippee#clone trooper hound#star wars#clone wars#clone troopers#the clone wars#clone commanders#commander fox#cute chibi#commander thorn#i need sleep#sleep deprived af#cute clones
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